Keeping Den and Pack meetings under control

INDEX

What is a Boy?

Discipline and Punishment

10 Needs of a Boy

Some Tips

From Scouting Magazine: Michael Gurian

Den Code of Conduct

Emotional Needs

Conduct Candles

Activities to Control Behavior

Positive Statements

Why do Kids Misbehave?

10 Commandments of Den Control

Back to Roundtable

Last Update: 8/15/05

WHAT IS A BOY? A boy is what he does, he does what he can. What he is going to be, he is now becoming. He is going to sit right where you are sitting. And when you are gone, he will attend       to those things you think are important. You may adopt all the policies you please,  but how they are carried out depends on him. Even if you make treaties and leagues, he will have to manage them. He is going to sit at your desk in Congress and assume your place on the Supreme Court bench. He will take over your churches, schools, universities and corporations. He will assume control of your cities, states and nations. All your books are going to be judged praised and condemned by him. All your hopes for him and the faith of the nations and humanities are in his hands.

SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL PAY SOME ATTENTION TO HIM!!

DISCIPLINE AND PUNISHMENT Discipline is the process of learning. Den discipline is a cooperative process where the boys behave in such a manner that both the boys and the leaders win: both achieve their objectives. The boys have fun, do exciting new things and feel good about themselves. The leaders achieve the aims of scouting, the boys are safe and they all get through the meetings with a minimum of damage and tears. Punishment is the opposite. Punishment happens when discipline fails. Punishment is adversarial: either the leader wins, the boy is punished and the boy loses or the leader backs down and the boy wins. Children need to develop self esteem. They need to win and feel good about themselves. When a leader uses punishment or the threat of punishment to control behavior, every time the leader wins, the boy loses and is motivated to misbehave in an attempt to win next time. Scouting relies totally on positive reinforcement. Chapter 16 (Ch. 2 in the older edition) of the Cub Scout Leader Book contains the official word on Cub Scout discipline. Every leader should read it and follow its recommendations. Bill

For more, read How to BEHAVE So Your Children Will, Too! by Sal Severe, Phd

TEN NEEDS OF A BOY

To climb a mountain and look afar.

To sit around an embered campfire with good friends

To test his strength and his skills on his very own.

To be alone with his own thoughts and with his God.

To reach out and find the hand of an understanding man ready and willing to help.

To have a code to live by… easily understood and fair.

A chance to play hard just for the fun of it… and to work hard for the thrill of it.

To have a chance to fail… and know why.

To have and to be a good friend and have a chance to prove both.

To have a hero… and a vision to measure him by.

York-Adams Area Cncl. Pow-Wow

 
 

'It is risky to order a child not to do something. It immediately opens him to the adventure of doing it' BP

SEVEN OTHER WAYS TO LOOK AT IT
Scouting  May-June 1999

"If Huck [Finn] and Tom [Sawyer] were in today's schools, they would be labeled ADD  and drugged."  Michael Gurian

EMOTIONAL NEEDS

The emotional needs of boys between 1st and 4th grades are basically the same. All boys (in fact, all people) have:
• The need to be loved.
• The need to be accepted.
• The need to be noticed.
• The need to belong.
• The need to be praised and encouraged.
• The need to be safe and secure.
• The need to let off steam.
• The need to express themselves.
• The need to experiment (and make some mistakes in the
• The need to have fun.
How each boy tries to fulfill these needs is what really makes him unique. One boy may be very timid and quiet and another loud and rowdy, but both are afraid they won't be loved. We usually notice the rowdy one, but both need our care and attention.
If a boy wants to be noticed and receives a lot of attention from you when he misbehaves, his need to be noticed is fulfilled. He will probably continue his inappropriate behavior because it best fulfills his need.
Well then, what's a den leader to do? Boys will be boys and will probably get into trouble. How can you deal with misbehavior, build up their self-esteem and still maintain some kind of order in your den? You need a plan of discipline.

The boys have fun, do exciting new things and feel good about themselves. The leaders achieve the aims of Scouting, the boys are safe and they all get through the meetings with a minimum of damage and tears.
 

Here are some ideas on how to reach this state of grace. I am writing this mostly with den meetings in mind but much of what follows applies equally as well to pack meetings and other Scouting activities. Some of the most important points, I learned during my years working at the archery and bb-gun ranges at camp. There we had zero tolerance for misbehavior.

 

Well planned programs.

The first, and most critical, step toward controlling the behavior of the boys is to plan a good program. Boys, who are having a good time, rarely cause trouble.

And I do mean plan. Your meetings need to be filled with short, fun-filled activities each lasting no more than 10 minutes. Lean heavily on activities recommended in Cub Scout Program Helps or The How-To Book. Switch between sitting, standing and running or jumping; between slow and fast, even indoors and outside. Games with rules tend to foster good behavior because children generally like them. Craft projects complicate things. Boys often require a lot of individual attention and may be easily bored or confused. In any case, keep it short.

Good planning will also ensure that you have all the equipment, material and snacks ready and on hand for the action. Plan more than you think you will need. Have extra stuff ready in case something doesn’t work out. You can always use the leftovers at another meeting.

Write out your plan and share it with your assistants.
 

Get and hold their attention.

Wearing a uniform gets attention and respect. It is worth the cost and if it you wear it correctly and with pride you should see a difference on how boys react to you.

Use the Cub Scout sign. The alert ears of the wolf are the signal that something important is about to happen. Wait until everyone responds and settles down before continuing. Start using the sign in Tigers with compliance of the parents and things will be great.

Use ceremonies. The opening ceremony says: the meeting is starting and I am in charge. The closing says: the meeting is over and it’s time to go home (or snack). Ceremonies should be attention grabbers. Keep them dramatic, short and to the point.
 

They know what’s expected of them.

Boys often misbehave just because they are not sure how they are expected act. They are imaginative and invent their own standards of behavior. You don’t want that.

You will need a Code of Conduct – a set of rules that we all follow at our meetings. They should be written out, posted, and both boys and parents made aware of them. Let the boys have input into setting these rules. Not only is this a learning experience for them but it also makes the rules more effective when the boys have some ownership.

Follow the rules consistently, fairly and good naturedly. Everything should, of course, comply with the Cub Scout Ideals: the Promise, the Law of the Pack and the Cub Scout Motto.
 

Give each boy individual attention.

Use each boy’s name a lot. Children crave attention and, the last time I priced it, attention was an inexpensive commodity. Give out lots off it at your meetings. Use positive statements like
   “I’m so glad you’re here today.”
   “I'm glad you're in my den!
   “That was the best ever!
   “I thought of you during the week.”
    “You must have been practicing.”
   “You figured that out fast.”
My own rule of thumb is four positive remarks for each negative one like: “Stop!, That’s wrong, or Don’t do it that way.”

This is going to spread you around rather thin, so you will need the help of assistants and hopefully a Den Chief if you give boys the attention they need.
 

Build a team.

Build pride in your den. Use lots of standard team building gimmicks like den flags, doodles, cheers, secret codes etc.
Uniform inspections instill pride in appearance and this spills over to pride in conduct.  Boys just seem to act better when they are in uniform. It may be that the love to act out roles and their uniforms are their stage costumes.

Watch for signs of discrimination or exclusion. Counter these with our Ideals: Cub Scouts give good will, Cub Scouts help other people. Never allow any boy feel that he is not a welcomed member.
 

Empowerment

Give each boy a chance to lead or star. There are opportunities in each of the boys’ books for leadership roles. Use them in your den programs. Skits and ceremonies at pack meetings give boys opportunities to stand out. Make sure that each of your boys gets these chances.

Use the denner , change denners regularly.

Baloos Bugle

DEN CODE OF CONDUCT

Surprisingly enough, most den leaders find that if their den has a Code of Conduct to follow, their home, their furniture, and their dignity remain intact throughout their Cub Scout experience.  Boys need to know just how far they can go, and the Den Code of Conduct will tell them this.
Each den will want to develop their own code to fit those special boys.   Don't make too many rules; omit any insignificant ones. The rules should be simple, clear, and concise so  they can be understood by the boys. In fact, the boys should help set the rules.
Some dens use a good conduct candle.  This is a large candle that burns during den meetings. When the conduct code is broken by any boy the candle is extinguished for the remainder of the meeting.  After several den meetings, the candle will be burned down, and a special treat or tip is planned for the den.  The sooner the candle burns down, the sooner the boys receive their treat.  In this way, the candle serves as an incentive for good behavior.

Suggestions for a Code of Conduct

• Enter by back door. Wipe feet before entering.  Leave boots on porch.
• Go directly to den meeting room, no running or wrestling indoors.
• Show courtesy and respect for other den members, leaders, and the den meeting place.
• Bring den dues and handbook to each meeting.
• If a boy disobeys more than three times in one den meeting, he will phone his parents to pick him up immediately.
•  Always go straight home after den meetings.

Friendly Reminders
It is important to keep boys under control at all times, without smothering them.
If you lose control, you need to know how to regain it. Don't try to out shout the boys. Stand where the boys can see you and raise your arm in the Cub Scout sign. Train your boys to respond to this signal.  "When the hand goes up, the mouth goes shut."
Alternate sitting, doing, quiet, and less quiet. Know when the boys are getting restless and change the pack of the meeting. go outside for an active game or contest. Give them a  chance to blow off excess steam.
Balance is important. Know where to draw the line.

        Leslie Herman - Pow Wow OnLine

 

DID YOU KNOW..... Boys behave better when they wear their uniforms.  They act out their Scouting roles. Cub Scouts and Webelos are more willing to give good will when wearing their uniforms.

DEN CODE OF CONDUCT

At your first den meeting sit down with the boys and discuss what a den meeting will be like and what you hope to accomplish. Introduce the cubs to the Cub Scout sign. Let them know that you have no intention of wasting your time screaming an hollering at them ( the boys will appreciate that too!) and you will only be using the sign to get their attention. (A whistle is nice to use for rowdy outdoor games) Have the boys tell you what rules they think would be appropriate for den meetings. You'll be surprised, the boys will be harder on themselves than you would be. They'll be delighted when you decide to throw a rule or two out.
Here's a sample Den Code of Conduct written by boys:

• Don't interrupt
• No nasty jokes
• No punching or kicking
• Listen to Akela and don't talk back
• No cussing
• Don't stick your tongue out or spit
• No talking ugly about other people
• You might add a few things, like:
• Wipe your feet at the door.
• No running or yelling in the house.

Write all the rules on a poster board and display them at every meeting. You might find you need to add something later. You may also wish to review them from time to time. Once you have your den rules established, you need to find a system to enforce it that will work for you. One system that works well is "THREE STRIKES - YOU'RE OUT". The first time a boy breaks a rule, he gets a warning. The second time, the boy spends 5 minutes in Time Out. (Time Out is an interruption of a child's unacceptable behavior, by removing him from the scene of the action.) A chair off to the side, out of the activity of the den meeting, can serve as the Time Out area. After 5 minutes the boy is asked if he is ready to return to the group. If a boy doesn't control himself in Time Out, he moves on to his third strike. When a Cub commits his third infraction of the Code of Conduct, he is excused from the meeting and must call a parent to come and get him. Have a conference with the boy and at least one parent before he can return to the next den meeting. Be sure to explain the Den's Code of Conduct and the consequences of breaking the rules to the parents of boys in your den at each of our den parents meetings.

Orange County Council Pow Wow

ACTIVITIES Discipline is seldom a problem if you time the activities so that the NEXT activity is always something they would rather do than what they are doing NOW. My meetings worked best with the following schedule.
          Gathering time
         Flag Ceremony
          Announcements
          Advancement Activity or Craft
          Games
          Snack
          Closing
For some reason there is always someone eager to do a flag ceremony in a wolf den, so that gets us started. They expect announcements, and have not gotten antsy yet, so it is an easy transition to explaining the activity or craft. When they are finished or bored (same thing) with the craft, they are always receptive to the idea of playing a game, likewise snack. Also, plan a backup plan for when an activity that sounded great just does not go over with the Scouts. I have had the chance to work with two dens on the same activity at different meetings, and what works with one den might be a complete flop with another, so be prepared with an alternative. As long as you keep them busy they are easy to handle.

Another approach to discipline that worked well for us is the bead jar. Each time they come to a meeting they get one bead for attendance, one for being in uniform, and one for a good turn they have done if they have done one, or if they do one during the meeting. We put the beads in a small jar and when it is full they all get to choose a special treat for the den. We spent part of one meeting coming up with rules of conduct for Scouts that should result in a bead being taken away. I had the Scouts make suggestions on what rules they thought belonged on the list, and then the Scouts voted on them. These became THEIR rules, and thinking about them and deciding about them was a positive learning experience. It only takes a gentle reminder from myself or one of the other Cubs to stop a behavior
that is on the list.